we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Semen is not good for contacts.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
