Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
