i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
