hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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