I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize