I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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