I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
