I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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