Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Panties = found
Randomize
