i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
