i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
