Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize