Pants 0. Shit 1.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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