He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So apparently I’m into choking now
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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