This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
