At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize