Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
