Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Are we still banned from the library?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
