why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
