There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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