Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
