D3 body, D1 cock
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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