its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
