The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
