you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He shit in the fireplace
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