i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
