He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
