It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
