She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
