How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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