i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
