Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
