I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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