break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
