Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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