Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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