I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
