Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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