Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
