she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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