Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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