Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
