Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
