When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
