Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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