you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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