ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
