That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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