are you so shy because you have an std?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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