Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
