are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
