So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize