We're facebook friends in real life
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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