Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
