Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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