which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
