I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
