He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
as a side note pls kill me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
