please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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