In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
