I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
