I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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