Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need a beard to bite.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
