i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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