I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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