I wish I could punch you in the face.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The Olympian is in my bed
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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