wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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